Archive for November, 2007

So, we have a new government. Howard is out, Rudd is in. You’d think, from some of the posts on the BE forums that in true Chicken Little style, the sky was about to fall in. Howard was a true right-winger, but , I don’t envisage much changing at all – for the first term at least. The senate doesn’t switch over until July and that means they’ll block any large reforms the Rudd government introduce. So, business as usual, to be honest.

I’ve had my fill of Thatcher’s refugees bleating on the forums. They seem to be under the illusion that Labor magic’d their way into power. The fact that the overwhelming majority of Australians decided to kick Howard’s circus of freaks into enforced retirement seems to be lost on them. Anyway – enough about elections.

On the move
I was in Broughton the other day, having lunch with John at the Southern. It’s a great place to watch the world go by, you get lots of traffic passing through from Sydney heading south . Anyway – I saw a number plate similar to this one on a Prado towing a tinnie.

What an odd expression. Are they suggesting that the state of Victoria is on edge of a tectonic plate and, as we speak, is breaking free from mainland Australia and heading south into the Bight? Where does it plan to move to? Will it roam the oceans forever or join a land-mass it prefers, such as New Zealand or Antarctica?

Here in NSW they put ‘The First State’ or ‘The Premier State’ on them, or on slightly older cars ‘Towards 2000′. It’s ‘The First State’ because of course, this is where Cook washed up and in the time-honoured imperial fashion, ignored the locals who’d lived in ‘New South Wales’ for 50,000 years and stuck a Union Jack in the sand at Botany Bay. I know I said I wouldn’t mention the election again, but Rudd has said that he will be offering the Aboriginal nation the apology that the Howard always blank-refused to make. Not quite sure what good that will do the original Australians, but it seems to be a landmark gesture, so I’m all for it.

Workchoices
Liz has, for the time-being, resolved her issues at work. Again, don’t really want to go into the ins and outs of it all, but she’s engineered a solution that works for her and keeps her livelihood safe. She really isn’t someone you want to get on the wrong side of in business. Meanwhile, I have been making some changes with my job.

Like most franchises, we all work from the same price list – whether the franchise is in Sydney or the Southern Highlands. However I’d been consistently getting feedback from potential customers that I was too expensive and yesterday I decided enough was enough and told John that we had to look again at what I’m charging. So he phoned round all my competitors here and guess what – I was the most expensive. So I’m dropping my fees to just below my main competitor and will now have to revisit all those businesses I’ve called on (all of Broughton, Barefoot Bay, Belfast and South Swindon *sigh*) to let them know. Hey ho.

Weather
What with El Nina now in full swing, we’ve been getting a *lot* of rain lately. This particular area has never been in drought, unlike much of Australia, so it seems a bit cruel that we’re getting so much of the wet stuff. One day last week we had five inches! Just checked the weather and rain is forecast for all of the next week. I know I’m supposed to be pleased by all this rain, but being British I find it hard to get into that mindset. At least it’s not cold with it.

Links of the day
And finally .. here are some links that I found amusing:
Craigslist Adverts – very funny write-ups of some of the frankly bizarre ‘dating’ ads on Craigslist.
Hoon of the day – ah … aussie cops … cars … what more can you want.

So the other week, during Sunday’s nippers day at the surf club – there was a mass proficiency test for all the bronze medallion and SRC people. Every year you have to do a cut-down version of the practical side of the exam to prove you’re still up to the job. All of which is fair enough. Because I’d passed my bronze only five months previously, I was sitting pretty and enjoyed watched them run through their paces. So I wasn’t best pleased when the patrol captain of the club phoned me up two days ago and said that since my bronze test had taken place two weeks before the end of the official surf life-saving year – I’d have to do my proficiency on Sunday.

I wasn’t very happy about it – but there’s not a lot I can do. If I want to do water-safety and IRB stuff, then I have to do my proficiency. However I was also entered for my IRB crew exam that same day and I can’t do it at all, without a proficiency tick against my name. One way or another, it looks like I’m going to be having a rather busy Sunday morning.

Blame it on the sunshine
I do love this warm weather. We’ve had a couple of weeks of beautiful sunshine now. The ocean’s warmed up nicely and even the aussies have started to lose the wetsuits for boardies and a rash vest. The pool is proving as useful as ever for cooling down when it gets a bit too muggy. In fact on Sunday we had Ash and Melissa (who Liz works with) and their two kids, Darren and Lyndall and their two kids around. The kids stayed in the pool pretty much all afternoon and then Ash and Darren and I did a pizza run (with a short stop-off at the pub for a swift schooner of Reschs), before everyone wandered off at about 9 in the evening, mindful of the kids school day tommorow.

What’s the statute of limitations on being an aussie?
I was reading the Sydney Morning Herald the other day, when this article caught my eye. The strapline, which read “This cheese-maker from Queensland is a hit on the UK folk scene, writes Emine Saner,” is hilarious once you read the article. It turns out that the folk singer in question is actually from Cambridge in the UK. Indeed she only moved to Queensland four years ago (in her 30s), from Camden in London. I’ve been here 18 months now, does that mean I come from New South Wales? Or will I only “come from” New South Wales when I’ve been here four years? I’m all for bigging up homegrown talent, but it’s a bit suspect when you have to appropriate someone who’s obviously about as Australian as Jim Rayson.
Update: Another one! Check this story out. “Aussie breaks record for carrying full beer glasses.” Ignorning for a moment the somewhat dubious nature of this ‘story’ and leaving aside for the time-being why this gets column inches one week before a national election – he’s from fucking Bavaria! He only became an Australian citizen ‘recently’. By these standards I’m as Australian as Rolf Harris.

It reminded me of a conversation I was having in the car the other day with John. John is the guy that owns the whole franchise of which I’m a part and he drives down from Albion Park a couple of days a week to join me calling on businesses. He’s a very nice bloke, who spent most of his life on the railways, but got out 10 years ago. He built up a computer repair business from scratch, which was soon turning over a million dollars a year. Anyway – he’s a funny bloke, with an interest in all sorts of new-agey stuff that you wouldn’t expect from a 50 year old ex railway worker.

Anyway – we were driving along the other day and he offers me a Fishermans Friend. He says, “watch it though, they’re hot.” I say, “yes, I have had one before.” He looks at me and says, “They sell these in England too, do they?” I laugh and say, “Ermm, John, they’re made in England.” He goes, “Get out of here!” And I tell him that they’re from Lancashire in England, originally made to help the trawlermen working the North Sea.

So John, stunned by this revelation, asks me if there are any other brands in Australia that are British. “Many of them,” I say. “Like what?” I reel a few off – such as Cadburys, Smiths and Walls and then point out that the majority of detergents, washing up liquids and household sprays are made by the British Unilever group. What about Kellogs, wonders John – I tell him they’re American, along with Heinz. He sits there for a minute and then says, “Don’t you be telling me that Arnotts Biscuits are not Australian,” I laugh and tell him that he’s safe there, Arnotts are as aussie as Dame Edna. Think I shook John’s value system to the core there though. He genuinely had no idea that all those brands he knew and loved were foreign owned imports. There again, John’s never even had his own passport – so draw what conclusions you will, from that.